What is Your Marriage Worth?

18 03 2018

Many years ago I listened to a preacher share about how his wife would leave the television on at night and sleep off and they lived in a country where you pay based on how long you keep the TV on. Leaving the TV on therefore increases the television bill.

That attitude of his wife would annoy him and he was always angry at his wife for doing that yet it continued. It was obvious it was going to become a strain in the marriage.

Then one day while ruminating over this issue, I asked myself, “Is your marriage not worth fifty dollars extra at the end of the month? If this attitude of your wife will mean an extra bill of fifty dollars, is it too much to pay for peace to be in your marriage?”

Unlike me, my wife is not a morning person. I can wake up by 2:00am, work till 5:00am, go back to bed and still get up by 6:00am and start my day. For my wife, I literally have to drag her out of bed in the morning. Her day begins only after she has had her bath.

In some homes, the wife is the one who goes to the kitchen to heat up water for the family to bathe. I guess it comes naturally with women. In my home, heaven help me if I wait for my wife to do that. I will wait for a long time. So I have resolved to make that my responsibility.

Even with the kids I will still have to be the one doing that in the morning because my wife is not a morning person. If that is the price I have to pay for peace to be in my home, it is worth it. We are talking about the price of peace.

One of my friends shared with me how his wife will never monitor the fuel gauge when driving. It is when the car finally stops that she realizes the car has run out of fuel. Guess who she will call? The husband. He will have to be the one to sort out the problem.

After several of such calls he had to find a way around it. He ensures the fuel tank is full at the beginning of the week which will take the wife through the week. That way he does not get any phone call that the car has stopped. It is the price of peace for him.

When I was working on this article I requested that people share some of the prices they have had to pay to maintain peace in their homes. I got a lot of responses that revealed that no marriage is perfect. The reason we see certain marriages as better than ours is because the parties in those marriages are ready to pay certain prices to maintain peace in their homes.

Let me share a few of the responses I got.

“In my home I just have to tolerate my husband’s attitude. He has this habit of talking over issues repeatedly. He can talk, talk and talk when a situation happens and will nag you till you fall over. So to allow peace what I do is try and keep my mouth shut. No argument, no talking back or simply walk away so that peace can reign.”

“I usually don’t turn off the lights in a room when I’m done using it. At the beginning of my marriage, hubby will tell me to always make sure I do that when exiting the room, but after correcting me several times without change, he decided to just check back anytime I leave a room and will help turn the lights off. He just stopped complaining and started helping me do it. Eventually, I had to determine in myself to be more aware and I’ve gotten better doing that.

“My wife has a thing for matchsticks. After using one, she keeps it for ’emergency’. This act irritates me. No matter how long we discuss this (more than 9 years now) she still does. So I decided to dispose them and then I offer her a fresh one should an ’emergency’ arise.”

“I don’t pressurize my husband to do or not to do anything, especially something he really wants to, or really doesn’t want to do. Putting pressure on him will only irritate him. I keep quiet and I pray instead. That way, I have peace and also get what I want. On the other hand, my husband will always hang the mosquito nets, switch off the lights and unplug my phones, because I always sleep off. He has stopped complaining. He will do the job instead.”

Those were just a few of the several responses I got about the price of peace that people are paying in their homes. A lot of other people were encouraged when they saw that they were not alone. You think you are the only one having an issue until you listen to others.

Sometimes we need to do things we don’t like for the sake of peace. If it is not too high a price then why not just do it and move on with our lives? Not every battle is worth fighting.

That is why it is important to be able to lead yourself because for these people whose reports we just read you find that either they or their spouses took responsibility for peace. That is part of what personal leadership is about.

I could have picked a fight with my wife for refusing to get up from the bed in the morning. Hamzah could have picked a fight with his wife for that thing with the matchsticks.

Fatimah’s husband could have picked a fight with her for always forgetting to turn off the lights. But personal leadership helped us to take the other route thereby maintaining peace in our homes.

Now this does not mean you will never have to correct each other in the relationship or continually be in endurance mode throughout the marriage especially when it has to do with abuse. That is a completely different matter. You don’t endure abuse. But instead of fighting over why your spouse always presses the toothpaste tube from the middle, why not buy a second one so you have yours and he has his and both of you have peace? Has that not solved the problem.

Playground Inspiration

15 03 2018
Weight Watcher

Mrs.  Rhonda is one of the 25,000 Weight Watchers

Jane Nidetch was a 214-pound housewife. She was desperate to lose weight. After two steady months of dieting, she was still 50 pounds overweight. So she invited six overweight friends to her house to share her diet and talk about how to stay on it.

Today, 28 years later, one million members attend 25,000 Weight Watchers’ meetings in 24 countries every week.

Mrs. Nidetch says she got her inspiration to help people take control of their lives, from a childhood incident. As a teenager she used to walk past a playground. Mothers brought kids there to play, and then they would get so deep in gossip that they completely forgot about the children. The toddlers sat on their swings, but no one was giving them a push start. So she gave each of them a push. And you know what happens after that: the swinger starts pumping and swinging by himself.

“That’s what my role in this weight watching has been,” says Mrs Nidetch, “I’m here to give others a push start.”

Life is a story: UNIV Nigeria 2018

8 03 2018

Special guests; Dr. Darligton Agholor, Rufai Oseni , Ikechukwu Onuoma Esq, Prof. R.A.C.E Achara

UNIV Forum draws together hundreds of university students from all over the world. They come to expand their horizons, exchange ideas and reflect on important issues affecting youth and society.

Marking its 50th anniversary this year since beginning in Rome, in 1968, more than 3000 young people the world over have had their ideas come alive and grow thanks to the forums.


Some University students, participants at the UNIV 

Each year, during the forum, Nigerian students meet and discuss and listen to each other and other people from different cultures, explaining the challenges facing society. This year, it was the turn of students from University of Ibadan, Pan Atlantic University, University of Lagos, University of Nigeria, University of Benin and the Industrial Technology, to rob minds and share experiences at the Pan Atlantic University.

Sharing ideas and listening to others

During a keynote address by the coordinator, UNIV NIGERIA, Ikechukwu Onuoma Esq, he said that life is a story, written in the first person, counting on the others.



Ikechukwu Onuoma Esq

No man is an island,” he continued, “no man is a single verse; rather, we all make up a single poem. “

Young people see the greatness of the world and its failings, and experience both wonder and dissatisfaction. They feel and desire change, along with insecurity and fear, never knowing whether they will fail or succeed, they are restless. 50 years ago, this restlessness led the student revolution of May 1968, a revolution that overthrew all authority. The protesters confused freedom with license, opening the way to a relativistic society. Yet, like all false ideologies, 68′ student revolution did not foster the true greatness of man but rather diminished it. To be effective, a genuine revolution needs reflection; it needs to listen to the deepest truth of the human heart. Otherwise, the revolution ends in chaos and debris. We all need to ask ourselves how we can build a better, more just, more human and cleaner future today.”

I gave up fighting those who gossip about me and became successful

28 02 2018

*Worth Reading*

I once asked a very successful woman to share her secret with me. She smiled and said to me.. “I started succeeding when I started leaving small fights for small fighters. I stopped fighting those who gossiped about me…I stopped fighting with my in laws…I stopped fighting for attention…I stopped fighting to meet public expectation of me…I stopped fighting for my rights with stupid people..I left such fights for those who have nothing else to fight…And I started fighting for my vision, my dreams, my ideas and my destiny. The day I gave up on small fights is the day I started becoming successful.”

*Some fights are not worth your time.*
*Choose what you fight for wisely.*

Great speech by the man that acted Jesus in the Passion of Christ movie

25 01 2018

This video is worth 20 min of your time.

Truly a great speech. Please share!

Uzoma and Omi conquers Warri: Igbankwu 29th Dec 2017

31 12 2017

Buffy and Jennifer Igbankwu 2017

28 12 2017


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