One reason why oral sex is gaining popularity among young people is because they think that it is a safe alternative to sex. Although they will not get pregnant from it, it is anything but safe. I once asked a microbiologist which STDs you could not get by means of oral sex. She replied, “I can’t think of any that you can’t get from oral sex (including HIV).” Sure enough, doctors today are seeing dramatic increases in cases of oral gonorrhea and herpes.[1] According to the International Journal of Cancer, cases of oral HPV (human papilloma virus) are reaching “epidemic” levels, [2] and now HPV is the leading cause of throat cancer.[3] Other forms of head and neck cancer can also be caused by orally transmitted HPV.[4] Oral sex is anything but safe.
Apart from issues of hygiene and diseases we have mentioned above, if you are called to marriage, then right now your future spouse is somewhere out there. Do you ever wonder what she or he is doing right now? Maybe he is running drills during basketball practice, or maybe she is laughing with friends at a coffee shop as they cram for a test. Suppose that he or she is elsewhere, namely at the house of a person who finds him or her attractive.
The parents are not home, and as you read this, that person is trying to talk your future spouse into having oral sex. If you could speak to the heart of your future spouse right now, would you say, “Oh, go ahead—just make sure you don’t go all the way, honey!” Probably not. You would also have some words for the other person, such as, “That’s my bride!” or “That’s the man who will be raising my children one day.” You would feel offended by what that person is trying to get from your future husband or wife.
Some people resort to oral sex so that they do not lose their virginity. Although you do not technically lose your virginity by having oral sex, it still robs you of innocence and puts you in situations where you could easily lose your virginity. It does not relieve sexual tension in a man but creates it and reinforces in him the myth that he has sexual “needs” that must be met, even at the expense of a woman’s dignity and innocence. The bottom line is that you don’t need oral sex to keep from going all the way. You need grace, courage, and self-respect.
[1]. Karen S. Peterson, “Younger Kids Trying It Now, Often Ignorant of Disease Risks,” USA Today, November 16, 2000, 1D (www.usatoday.com).
[2]. Lalle Hammarstedt, et al., “Human Papillomavirus as a Risk Factor for the Increase in Incidence of Tonsillar Cancer,” International Journal of Cancer 119:11 (December 2006), 2622.
[3]. Gypsyamber D’Souza, et al., “Case-Control Study of Human Papillomavirus and Oropharyngeal Cancer,” The New England Journal of Medicine 356 (May 10, 2007), 1944–1956.
[4]. Lalle Hammarstedt, et al., 2620–2623; Justine Ritchie, et al., “Human Papillomavirus Infection as a Prognostic Factor in Carcinomas of the Oral Cavity and Oropharynx,”International Journal of Cancer 104:3 (April 10, 2003), 336–344; Rolando Herrero, et al., “Human Papillomavirus and Oral Cancer: The International Agency for Research on Cancer Multicenter Study,” Journal of the National Cancer Institute 95:23 (December 3, 2003), 1772–1783.
“I am sixteen and have already lost my virginity. I truly regret that my first time was with a guy that I didn’t care that much about. Since that first night, he expects sex on every date. When I don’t feel like it, we end up in an argument. I don’t think this guy is in love with me, and I know deep down that I am not in love with him either. This makes me feel cheap. I realize now that this is a very big step in a girl’s life. After you have done it, things are never the same. It changes everything.” Since then I have been involved with other guys and I have learnt a few lessons. Here are some:
1. Many teenage girls sleep with guys because they are trying to find love, to find self-worth. But the catch is that the more guys they sleep with, the less self-worth they had.
2. Many girls think that if they really care about guys, sex will bring them closer together. Indeed, sex creates a bond. However, 80 percent of the time, the physical intimacy of the first sexual relationship won’t last more than six months.
3. Couples who want what is best for their relationship or future marriage will have the patience to wait.
4. Most of the time, when a girl gives away her virginity, she assumes the relationship will last forever. But a study of more than 10,000 women shows that when a girl loses her virginity at that age at 14, she’ll probably have about thirteen more lifetime sexual partners.
5. Teen sex frequently causes tension within families because of the dishonesty that usually accompanies the hidden intimacies. Relationships with friends are often strained, and when things turn sour, the gossip and social problems often become unbearable.
6. Everyone talks about how hard it is to say no to sex, but no one tells you how hard it is when you say yes.
7. It is dangerous for a teenage girl to be sexually active. Because a teenage girl’s reproductive system is still immature, she is very susceptible to sexually transmitted diseases
8. In fact, early sexual activity is the number one risk factor for cervical cancer, and the second is multiple sexual partners. A girl’s body, like her heart, is not designed to handle multiple sexual partners.
9. While a girl might plan on sleeping with only one guy, she could be exposing herself to the STDs of hundreds of people through a single act of intercourse. Here’s how: Scientists studied the sexual activity of a public high school of about one thousand students. About half (573) of the students had been sexually active, and most of them had only been with one partner. However, when the scientists tracked the web of sexual activity among the students, it was discovered that more than half of the sexually active teens—without knowing it—were linked together in a network of 288 partners within the school! So if a girl slept with a guy from this school, theoretically she could be in bed with one-fourth of the entire student body.
10. The emotional side effects of premarital sex are also damaging to a young woman. One of the most common consequences of teenage sexual activity is depression. Sexually active girls are more than three times as likely to be depressed as abstinent girls. In fact, the condition has become so predictable that the American Journal of Preventive Medicine recommends to doctors: “[Girls who are engaging in] sexual intercourse should be screened for depression and provided with anticipatory guidance about the mental health risks of these behaviors.”Even if a girl experiments with sex once, research shows an increased risk of depression. Also, consider the fact that the rate of suicide attempts for sexually active girls (aged twelve to sixteen) is six times higher than the rate for virgins. Tragically, these girls do not realize the purity, hope, and forgiveness that they can find in Christ.
11. Unfortunately, many young women search for meaning only in relationships with guys, instead of with God. It is not uncommon for a girl to have sex to make a guy like her more or to encourage him to stay with her. She may compromise her standards because she is afraid of never being loved. Once he leaves her, though, an emotional divorce takes place. A person’s heart is not made to be that close to a person and then separated.
12. Since teenage sexual relationships rarely last, the girl’s sense of self-worth is often damaged. She may conclude that if she looked better, he would have stayed longer. This mentality can lead to harmful practices, such as eating disorders. Or the disappointment she feels may drive her into a state of self-hatred. Some young women even begin to hurt their own bodies in an attempt to numb the emotional pain. Such practices never solve the problems, though. If she wants to be loved, she needs to begin by loving herself.
13. In her heart, a girl who has been used knows it. However, she may immediately jump into another sexual relationship to escape the hurt. If she tries to boost her self-esteem by giving guys what they want, then her self-worth often ends up depending upon those kinds of relationships. Her development as a woman is stunted because without chastity she does not know how to express affection, appreciation, or attraction for a guy without implying something sexual. She may even conclude that a guy does not love her unless he makes sexual advances toward her. She knows that sex exists without intimacy, but she may forget that intimacy can exist without sex. A girl on this track usually feels accepted initially, but that acceptance lasts only as long as the physical pleasure.
14. Such a lifestyle will also take its toll on her ability to bond. Here’s why: Sharing the gift of sex is like putting a piece of tape on another person’s arm. The first bond is strong, and it hurts to remove it. Shift the tape to another person’s arm, and the bond will still work, but it will be easier to remove. Each time this is done, part of each person remains with the tape. Soon it is easy to remove because the residue from the various arms interferes with the tape’s ability to stick.
15. The same is true in relationships because neurologists have discovered that previous sexual experiences can interfere with one’s ability to bond with future partners. This does not mean that if a person is not a virgin on the wedding night, he or she will be unable to bond with a spouse. It simply means that when we follow God’s plan, we have the most abundant life possible. But when we turn from his designs and break his commandments, often we are the ones who feel broken afterward.
16. Spiritual sin cuts us off from God, and this is the most serious consequence of premarital sex. After going too far, many of us know all too well the cloud of guilt that weighs on our hearts. The solution is not to kill our conscience but to follow it to freedom. It is calling us, not condemning us. Provided we repent, God will be there to welcome us home and let us start over (see John 8 and Luke 15).
What this all means is that our bodies, our hearts, our relationships, and our souls are not made for premarital sex. We are made for enduring love
It is said that the wages of sin is death (or disease). Hollywood actor Michael Douglas has admitted that his throat cancer was caused by his extramarital sex life .
The star, who fought a six month battle with the disease from August 2010 until January 2011, had initially believed that it was his years of smoking and drinking that had lead to the illness.
However, in a new interview the 68-year-old said that the particular strain he had suffered with was caused by human papilloma virus (HPV), a sexually transmitted disease.
Opening up: Michael Douglas, pictured on the Graham Norton Show last week, has spoken about the causes of his throat cancer
Douglas made the frank admission about how he developed the illness during an interview with The Guardian newspaper when he was asked if he had regretted smoking and drinking in the past.
Douglas candidly replied: ‘No. Because without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV, which actually comes about from cunnilingus.’
Douglas, who is married to Welsh actress Catherine Zeta-Jones, was diagnosed with cancer in August 2010 after a walnut-sized tumour was found on his tongue.
His health troubles started just a few months after his eldest son Cameron – from his first marriage to Diandra Luker – was jailed for drug possession and dealing.
The actor admitted he initially believed his disease had been triggered by the stress over his son’s legal troubles.
Fighting back: Michael in November 2010, when he was battling cancer
He explained: ‘I did worry if the stress caused by my son’s incarceration didn’t help trigger it. But yeah, it’s a sexually transmitted disease that causes cancer. And if you have it, cunnilingus is also the best cure for it.’
Douglas was diagnosed with stage four of the disease and underwent an intense course of chemotherapy and radiation.
Eventually, he was given the all-clear, although he still has to undergo check-ups with doctors every six months.
However, the actor is optimistic he has conquered the disease once and for all.
‘With this kind of cancer, 95 per cent of the time it doesn’t come back,’ he said.
More than 20 years ago, Michael was hospitalised for an addiction, which many reports at the time claimed was to sex.
However, he has since denied that he was a sex addict, insisting that he was being treated for alcohol abuse.
HPV is a sexually transmitted virus which is more widely known as a cause of cervical and anal cancer.
Last year, Cancer Research UK said the rising rates of HPV16-positive cases of oral cancer could be linked to oral sex.
WHAT IS HUMAN PAPILLOMA VIRUS?
Human papilloma virus (HPV) is spread through sexual contact and is more usually associated with cervical cancer in women.
The cervical cancer jab given to 12 and 13-year-old schoolgirls aims to cut their odds of the cancer by protecting them against the virus.
Although most mouth and throat cancers are normally blamed on drinking and smoking an increasing number of cases that occur around the tonsils and back of the tongue are due to HPV.
Although the cancer is not contagious, the virus is.
In the US, HPV is blamed for up to 80 per cent of these tumours of the tonsils and the back of the tongue, which experts say could be due to increasing popularity of oral sex.
The typical patient is described as an otherwise healthy man in his late 40s or early 50s who has never smoked or smoked very little.
In Britain, the number of mouth and throat cancers have increased by 40 per cent in just a decade, to 6,200 cases a year.
Cancer Research UK says the HPV virus may be key to the ‘rapid rise’.
Symptoms include persistent mouth ulcers, pain, discoloured patches and difficulty chewing and swallowing.
Men are advised to check their neck for lumps when shaving and both sexes to look at the back of their throat while brushing their teeth.
Treatments such as chemotherapy, radiotherapy and surgery are often more successful in mouth and throat cancers caused by the virus than those caused by tobacco and alcohol.
Although mouth cancer can be caused by HPV passed on by oral sex, doctors say Michael Douglas’s claim that oral sex is also a cure doesn’t make any medical sense. This should serve as a good warning to those who engage in dangerous life style: extramarital sex will get you sick.
From DailyMail
Authors-choice: Hope & Revival 