Why it is Lethal To Grow Old In The Netherlands

28 08 2018

picture of old woman

There was a time it was believed that rich countries have the most humane laws. Not anymore. Last week, a female doctor was formally cleared by the Netherlands medical board for killing a 74 year old woman with dementia on the grounds that she acted in good faith.

Euthanasia or medically assisted suicide is legal in Netherlands, and anyone who so wishes can request and be helped to die. It was reported that the woman sometimes requested for it, and sometimes did not.

The doctor got tired of the waiting and decided to do it. She had made all the arrangements, paid all the right people.  But according to the telegraph.co.uk, when the day came, the old woman refused to take a cup of coffee containing a sedative that would put her to sleep so that they could kill her. In fact she fought desperately not to be killed and the doctor had to ask her husband and daughter to hold her down so she could insert a drip containing the lethal injection.

When the incident came to light, social media shrills spurred the medical board of the Netherlands to investigate the incident and just recently released a report clearing the doctor of all wrong doing, and proclaiming that she acted on “compassionate” grounds.

Really?

Who would push a woman off a cliff edge out of compassion?

As mother Angelica, founder of the Eternal Word Television said, “The greatest tragedy of this world is misdirected compassion.” There was a time true compassion was about doing good to others. Now compassion is a euphemism for masking violent and selfish acts.

The doctor’s actions were still not as treacherous as that of the husband and daughter who actively cooperated in her death.

It is not uncommon that when people get older, they need more attention. This can often be a huge burden to family especially, the children. This is one reason why having lots of children helps. With plenty of siblings to help out, the burden of caring for aged parent is carried on many shoulders. Thus the temptation to put a parent away in a nursing home or to permanently take care of her through euthanasia is reduced. Thankfully, Africans have lots of children and will not easily buy the deceitful ideology of euthanasia nor subscribe to putting their parents in nursing homes.  A nursing home no matter how neat or decent, is never truly a home where familiar faces and things deeply loved are ever present. I recently read an article about a particular nursing home where most of the inmates spend the whole day looking at the entrance door, hoping for the arrival of a beloved child or spouse.

When children begin to kill their parents to free themselves from the responsibility of caring for them, then something is wrong with society.

That’s why I was so moved when someone sent me the video below, of a man caring his old and invalid Dad.

A compassion that seeks to eliminate not just suffering but truth as well is no compassion at all but cowardice. By killing the sufferer, pain is eliminated at cost of life. How absurd!

I think the real problem is the worship of pleasure, beauty and self indulgence by society. A culture that shies away from anything unpleasant will breed individual ready to kill to escape unpleasant duties.

Parents need to teach their children about the joy of doing thing they find unpleasant.

As St. Josemaria Escriva said, “We shouldn’t think that the only work we can do joyfully is what we find pleasing. We can carry out joyfully—and not reluctantly—what we find hard, what doesn’t please us, if we do it for and with love, and therefore freely.”

This is true compassion. When children take care of their elderly parents at sometime huge personal cost in time and money, they are being truly compassionate.

The Netherlands has handed its most vulnerable citizens the death sentence. Vulnerable people in society: the elderly, the poor, the mentally ill, and the disabled are fast being killed of by a euthanasia law that is spiraled out of control.

Worst, the elderly are suffering intolerably because they know that everyone expects them to kill themselves or risk being seen as selfish. It is a subtle and cruel pressure. The mental anguish is sufficient to destroy anyone. In Africa, the old are still venerable, held in high esteem, and the young yearn to learn from their wisdom and experience.  There is no doubt that the old, infirm and weak, as they are, still have a lot to contribute to society.

Below is a video of Dr. Melisa Friedman, who at 92 yrs old and still contributing meaningfully to society and practicing medicine.

Article by Chinwuba Iyizoba

Editor





Illusory freedom of Brad Pit and Angelina Jolie

12 08 2018

The divorce between Brad and his wife, Angelina Angelina, started since 2016, is building up to a dramatic and sleazy end.

Both, divorcee, lived together unmarried for 10-years. The glamorous couple had 6 children; 3 biological and 3 adopted. When they finally decided to get married in 2014, cracks began to appear.

In a beautiful letter he wrote his wife that went viral on the internet, Brad claimed that his wife was depressed, stressed out, and uncommunicative. The letter was all about his gallant effort to win her back and save his marriage.

It’s unclear whether the double mastectomy Angelina had the previous year contributed to her illness. In May 2013, she had both breasts surgically removed after discovering she carries a genetic mutation that dramatically increases the chance of being diagnosed with potentially fatal breast cancer.

It is not uncommon that such drastic actions could result in regrets and self-loathing as time goes by. After all, a woman’s breast is a significant part of her beauty and attractiveness. Fears that her husband no longer finds her attractive could have triggered a feeling of insecurity that lead to her depression.

Many people were disappointed when in 2016, the couple announced that they were divorcing, citing irreconcilable differences.

Thing went dark quickly. Last year, Brad was investigated and cleared of petty child abuse accusation brought by his wife.

Then again, recently, the media was abuzz when Angelina, again, accused her husband of not paying her child support for their 6 children. A ridiculous accusation given that she is super rich.

In the entire hullabaloo, the real losers are their children.

Already Maddox, their first child, is not on speaking terms with his Dad and is showing signs of anti-social behavior; and Shiloh, their first biological daughter, is in a deep confusion, behaving like a boy and preferring to wear boys’ clothes. Studies show that divorce harms children.

Add to this; different men and women may soon be entering their lives, demanding the entitlement of a new mother or a new father (most Hollywood stars remarry shortly after divorce)

Angelina and Brad should consider their children’s right to be brought up in a stable, intact home and work harder to reconcile their differences.

When married folk talk about “irreconcilable difference” to get a divorce, it’s often about themselves, but they end up injuring their children as well.

Look, when parents sacrifice their own selfishness for love of their children, they have made a choice, and the more they love the greater will be their freedom. If their love is great, their freedom will bear much fruit in their children’s good

Couples who decide to stick it out, for better or worse, make a choice which derives from their blessed freedom. This presupposes self-surrender, for God’s sake, and for the children’s sake.

But unfortunately, Brad and Angelina are greatly ignorant about what freedom really is. They are aspiring to an illusory freedom without limits as though it were the ultimate goal of happiness. Yet, both have been down this road before. Angelina was previously married to an actor called Bob Thornton and walked away. Brad left a fellow actress, Jennifer Aniston for Angelina. Now they are at it again. Where will it go from here?

Marriage is about reconciling irreconcilably differences. When a man and woman marry, they reconcile themselves into one. The two shall become one, as the Holy writ says. We reconcile our differences by deliberately choosing to do so, out of love because love is not true if it’s not forever.

In a way, it all goes to support C. S Lewis arguments that if marriage is not for keeps, it’s better not to get married in the first place, and the Catholic Church insists that marriage is for keeps, and for the sake of children.

By Chinwuba Iyizoba

The Editor





Should I keep this secret from my spouse?

1 08 2018

Marriage experts and real women debate the gray areas of keeping secrets from your husband or wife.

What you don’t say in a marriage can be even more telling than what you do say. Stacey Greene, author of Stronger Than Broken: One Couple’s Decision to Move Through An Affair, knows this fact better than most. After learning about her husband’s secret affair, she wrote her book to document her harrowing journey of recovering from that infidelity as a Christian woman. While writing and working through her unfortunate situation, Greene realized a simple truth about marriage: no secret is worth keeping from your spouse.

“In fact, while we were resurrecting the marriage, we began being brutally honest with each other, even if we knew it would hurt the other one’s feelings,” says Greene. “Marriage is rough, but honesty is paramount. It’s okay if I say, ‘Does this dress make my butt look fat?’ and he says, ‘Yes.’ I simply change dresses.”

That may sound extreme to some of us who like a little confidence-boosting white lie every now and again. But as far as Greene is concerned, one small secret as mild as an unflattering piece of clothing has the potential domino into more secrets and jeopardize the foundation of trust between husband and wife.

“Trust is at the pinnacle of any lasting and meaningful relationship,” she says. “We need to ask ourselves why would we even want to keep a secret from our wife or husband. What is the purpose? What are we afraid of the other person finding out about us?” Greene’s argument suggests that the underlying motives for telling the truth should outweigh the sometimes awkward or temporary wounded recreation your spouse might have. To her point, most of us don’t really want to leave the house in a dress that doesn’t look nice.

The truth will come out

Greene argues that no matter what kind of secret you may want to keep, your spouse will eventually learn the truth.

First and foremost she applies this to money. “If it is a financial secret, it will no doubt come out at some point,” she says. “Maybe it will come out at tax time, or when you must declare bankruptcy or lose a home. There goes trust and security in the marriage.” Financial talks are difficult — there’s no doubt about it. But between arguing about truths now rather than realizing your assets were actually a pack of lies later … which would you choose? And this goes both ways: if you feel you’re in the dark about your joint finances, don’t stay there; speak up. There’s no time like the present to find out the real scoop.

But the other big lie married couples often worry about is fidelity: “If it is a relationship secret (like cheating or being cheated on), there is a distinct probability that the affair will eventually be found out,” says Greene. “If it is a health secret (like he or she had been sleeping around), then diseases can be transmitted to the innocent partner. If there was a secret child from another relationship, that child may look up his biological parents and disrupt the lives of the biological family.” So the chances of being caught in your lie are many, and possibly all even more hurtful than hearing the truth directly from your partner. Though, of course, it’s always better simply not to do anything in a marriage that you feel you need to lie about to begin with.

She adds, “What we have to understand about secrets is that there is always a chance of being caught, which erodes trust.”

Anni Harry, who is a married Catholic woman, agrees that chances are good you will get caught no matter what, so you might as well be honest with your spouse in the first place.

“I am an open book,” she says. “I don’t have anything I keep from him simply because I am a firm believer that he will find out anyway. Also, I believe a lie by omission is still a lie, and most secrets are kept from someone to keep them out of the loop.”

But are there tiny exceptions?

Still, some married people argue that there are minor or short-term secrets that may be safe to keep, as long as your relationship is still largely based on trust and open communication.

For instance, gifts. “Small secrets — like, what you are gifting for birthdays, Christmas, etc. — are okay, but if it is pricey, I run the price by him first,” she says.

Alicia Schonhardt, the blogger behind the Catholic homeschooling blog Sweeping Up Joy, says that her secrets are her harmless guilty pleasures.

“My secrets involve the amount of chocolate I’ve consumed in one day and what fluffy TV shows I watch regularly,” she says. “If asked directly, I answer honestly. Yes, I watch Dancing With the Stars. No, I’m not proud of it. That’s pretty much it.”

Schonhardt adds, “There might be other things that I don’t tell him, but nothing is off the table for discussion if he brings it up.”

Chiara Pierpaolo Finaldi, a married Catholic woman in London, doesn’t believe you have to own up to all your tiny, embarrassing mistakes … though don’t expect to keep such matters a secret for long.

“You don’t need to tell [your husband] straight away that you ruined his favorite shirt when you washed it or shrunk his really special sweater that accidentally ended up in the dryer,” she says. “He will eventually find out.”

But slightly more substantial secrets may make sense to guard, too. If your friend has told you something in confidence that has absolutely nothing to do with your husband, many women feel you can keep mum on the matter.

“I keep to myself the things friends tell me if they don’t give me permission to share it with him, like marriages falling apart, for instance,” says Jennie Lawlis Goutet, who runs the blog, A Lady in France. “I always ask my friends first. But he’s respectful of my friends’ privacy and doesn’t ask further questions about things they’re not willing for him to know.”

Another type of secret that may make sense to guard is specific gossip about your husband.

“I keep negative things other people have said about him, from him,” says Leah Gray, who blogs about her experiences as the wife of an addict. “My husband battled an addiction and sometimes people say unkind things. The other thing I do is make it very clear I won’t listen to it either. It’s a personal integrity thing. He has no idea I do it, but I want to bless him in my secret life as well.”

Other than that? “I have no secrets from him,” says Grey. Because, while there are teeny exceptions, most secrets are hurtful, if not downright damaging.

by Aleteia, aleteia.org July 29, 2018 05:00 AM





What’s Your Nature?

20 05 2018

A wise old man was sitting at the river bank.

He saw a cat that had fallen into the river struggling to save itself from drowning.

The man decided to save the cat. He stretched out his hand towards the cat but the cat scratched him. He pulled his hand back in pain.

However, a few minutes later he stretched out his hand again to save the cat, but it scratched him again, and again he pulled his hand back in pain.

A few minutes later he was again trying for the third time!!

A man, who was nearby watching what was happening, yelled out, “O wise man, you have not learned your lesson the first time, nor the second time, and now you are trying to save the cat a third time?”

The wise man paid no heed to that man’s scolding, and kept on trying until he managed to save the cat.

He then walked over to the man, and patted his shoulder saying:, “My son… it is in the cat’s nature to scratch, and it is in my nature to love and have sympathy. Why do you want me to let the cat’s nature overcome mine?_
“My son, treat people according to your nature, not according to theirs, no matter what they are like and no matter how numerous their actions that harm you and cause you pain sometimes. And do not pay heed to all the voices that loudly call out to you to leave behind your good qualities merely because the other party is not deserving of your noble actions. So never regret the moments you gave happiness to someone, even if that person did not deserve it.

Jesus treats us according to His nature, just think where we would be if He were to treat us as per our nature… That is why He saves us in spite of ourselves





What is Your Marriage Worth?

18 03 2018

Many years ago I listened to a preacher share about how his wife would leave the television on at night and sleep off and they lived in a country where you pay based on how long you keep the TV on. Leaving the TV on therefore increases the television bill.

That attitude of his wife would annoy him and he was always angry at his wife for doing that yet it continued. It was obvious it was going to become a strain in the marriage.

Then one day while ruminating over this issue, I asked myself, “Is your marriage not worth fifty dollars extra at the end of the month? If this attitude of your wife will mean an extra bill of fifty dollars, is it too much to pay for peace to be in your marriage?”

Unlike me, my wife is not a morning person. I can wake up by 2:00am, work till 5:00am, go back to bed and still get up by 6:00am and start my day. For my wife, I literally have to drag her out of bed in the morning. Her day begins only after she has had her bath.

In some homes, the wife is the one who goes to the kitchen to heat up water for the family to bathe. I guess it comes naturally with women. In my home, heaven help me if I wait for my wife to do that. I will wait for a long time. So I have resolved to make that my responsibility.

Even with the kids I will still have to be the one doing that in the morning because my wife is not a morning person. If that is the price I have to pay for peace to be in my home, it is worth it. We are talking about the price of peace.

One of my friends shared with me how his wife will never monitor the fuel gauge when driving. It is when the car finally stops that she realizes the car has run out of fuel. Guess who she will call? The husband. He will have to be the one to sort out the problem.

After several of such calls he had to find a way around it. He ensures the fuel tank is full at the beginning of the week which will take the wife through the week. That way he does not get any phone call that the car has stopped. It is the price of peace for him.

When I was working on this article I requested that people share some of the prices they have had to pay to maintain peace in their homes. I got a lot of responses that revealed that no marriage is perfect. The reason we see certain marriages as better than ours is because the parties in those marriages are ready to pay certain prices to maintain peace in their homes.

Let me share a few of the responses I got.

“In my home I just have to tolerate my husband’s attitude. He has this habit of talking over issues repeatedly. He can talk, talk and talk when a situation happens and will nag you till you fall over. So to allow peace what I do is try and keep my mouth shut. No argument, no talking back or simply walk away so that peace can reign.”
-Ajo

“I usually don’t turn off the lights in a room when I’m done using it. At the beginning of my marriage, hubby will tell me to always make sure I do that when exiting the room, but after correcting me several times without change, he decided to just check back anytime I leave a room and will help turn the lights off. He just stopped complaining and started helping me do it. Eventually, I had to determine in myself to be more aware and I’ve gotten better doing that.
-Olu

“My wife has a thing for matchsticks. After using one, she keeps it for ’emergency’. This act irritates me. No matter how long we discuss this (more than 9 years now) she still does. So I decided to dispose them and then I offer her a fresh one should an ’emergency’ arise.”
-Dapo

“I don’t pressurize my husband to do or not to do anything, especially something he really wants to, or really doesn’t want to do. Putting pressure on him will only irritate him. I keep quiet and I pray instead. That way, I have peace and also get what I want. On the other hand, my husband will always hang the mosquito nets, switch off the lights and unplug my phones, because I always sleep off. He has stopped complaining. He will do the job instead.”
-Bisola

Those were just a few of the several responses I got about the price of peace that people are paying in their homes. A lot of other people were encouraged when they saw that they were not alone. You think you are the only one having an issue until you listen to others.

Sometimes we need to do things we don’t like for the sake of peace. If it is not too high a price then why not just do it and move on with our lives? Not every battle is worth fighting.

That is why it is important to be able to lead yourself because for these people whose reports we just read you find that either they or their spouses took responsibility for peace. That is part of what personal leadership is about.

I could have picked a fight with my wife for refusing to get up from the bed in the morning. Hamzah could have picked a fight with his wife for that thing with the matchsticks.

Fatimah’s husband could have picked a fight with her for always forgetting to turn off the lights. But personal leadership helped us to take the other route thereby maintaining peace in our homes.

Now this does not mean you will never have to correct each other in the relationship or continually be in endurance mode throughout the marriage especially when it has to do with abuse. That is a completely different matter. You don’t endure abuse. But instead of fighting over why your spouse always presses the toothpaste tube from the middle, why not buy a second one so you have yours and he has his and both of you have peace? Has that not solved the problem.





Playground Inspiration

15 03 2018
Weight Watcher

Mrs.  Rhonda is one of the 25,000 Weight Watchers

Jane Nidetch was a 214-pound housewife. She was desperate to lose weight. After two steady months of dieting, she was still 50 pounds overweight. So she invited six overweight friends to her house to share her diet and talk about how to stay on it.

Today, 28 years later, one million members attend 25,000 Weight Watchers’ meetings in 24 countries every week.

Mrs. Nidetch says she got her inspiration to help people take control of their lives, from a childhood incident. As a teenager she used to walk past a playground. Mothers brought kids there to play, and then they would get so deep in gossip that they completely forgot about the children. The toddlers sat on their swings, but no one was giving them a push start. So she gave each of them a push. And you know what happens after that: the swinger starts pumping and swinging by himself.

“That’s what my role in this weight watching has been,” says Mrs Nidetch, “I’m here to give others a push start.”





Life is a story: UNIV Nigeria 2018

8 03 2018

Special guests; Dr. Darligton Agholor, Rufai Oseni , Ikechukwu Onuoma Esq, Prof. R.A.C.E Achara

UNIV Forum draws together hundreds of university students from all over the world. They come to expand their horizons, exchange ideas and reflect on important issues affecting youth and society.

Marking its 50th anniversary this year since beginning in Rome, in 1968, more than 3000 young people the world over have had their ideas come alive and grow thanks to the forums.

 

Some University students, participants at the UNIV 

Each year, during the forum, Nigerian students meet and discuss and listen to each other and other people from different cultures, explaining the challenges facing society. This year, it was the turn of students from University of Ibadan, Pan Atlantic University, University of Lagos, University of Nigeria, University of Benin and the Industrial Technology, to rob minds and share experiences at the Pan Atlantic University.

Sharing ideas and listening to others

During a keynote address by the coordinator, UNIV NIGERIA, Ikechukwu Onuoma Esq, he said that life is a story, written in the first person, counting on the others.

 

IMG-20180308-WA0005[1]

Ikechukwu Onuoma Esq

No man is an island,” he continued, “no man is a single verse; rather, we all make up a single poem. “

Young people see the greatness of the world and its failings, and experience both wonder and dissatisfaction. They feel and desire change, along with insecurity and fear, never knowing whether they will fail or succeed, they are restless. 50 years ago, this restlessness led the student revolution of May 1968, a revolution that overthrew all authority. The protesters confused freedom with license, opening the way to a relativistic society. Yet, like all false ideologies, 68′ student revolution did not foster the true greatness of man but rather diminished it. To be effective, a genuine revolution needs reflection; it needs to listen to the deepest truth of the human heart. Otherwise, the revolution ends in chaos and debris. We all need to ask ourselves how we can build a better, more just, more human and cleaner future today.”








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