Want a Happy Marriage? Try Obi-Cubana’s Secret Recipe

Many people might object to his extravagant way of life and even debate where he got his incredible wealth. However, Obi-Cubana and his wife Ebele, who recently marked 15 years of marriage, have some advice for other married couples.

It is no secret that many young men are hesitant to get married in today’s society, especially if they are wealthy. This is because so many marriages are breaking up left, right, and center. It appears that the wealthy and famous, like the Nigerian artist Davido, are content with having unmarried children with their constantly changing girlfriends, whom they now stylishly refer to as “baby mamma’s.”

It therefore comes as a welcome surprise that a man of Obi-cubana’s wealth and background, who could have easily been distracted with other women and afford to keep many side chicks, instead appears to celebrate married love with his wife even after 15 years.

 Since they have been through the storm that frequently destroys many marriages together for 15 years, Obi-cubana and his wife have reason to celebrate. To do so, they celebrated in typical Obi-cubana flamboyance at their Abuja home, where they invited friends and well-wishers to a lavish ceremony and delectable meals as they came out in style to renew their marriage ties. Amid applause and cheers from friends and onlookers, the couple danced and kissed as if they were new lovebirds and exchanging vows.

When Obi-cubana buried his mother on July 16, 2021, the great ceremony that saw many of Nigeria’s powerful people and politicians converge on the event with a flamboyant display of cash spraying propelled him into the national spotlight.

Obi-cubana, 49, is said to have made his first significant break in 2006 when he invested in a nightclub in Abuja that was so successful that it spawned a chain of hotels and nightclubs across the nation. Given that many politicians in Nigeria enjoy going to nightclubs, it is not surprising that Obi-cubana is well-liked and has many other politicians as friends. He is also said to have a net worth of about $500 million.

Contrary to many politicians and billionaires, Obi Cuba appears to be blissfully married and still in love with his wife, which is rather surprising. Obi Cubana discusses how he met his wife in an interview that will air on Vanguard on July 22, 2021. He claimed that when he first met his wife Ebele, he had nothing and was living the typical bachelor lifestyle in a one-room apartment in Abuja. However, three years later, when their love blossomed into marriage, he had purchased a three-bedroom apartment, and that love had not stopped bringing him success as he is now one of the top billionaires in Nigeria.

Studies indicate that the main reason for the high rate of marital infidelity in Nigeria is that most people marry not out of love but for money and security, and this is evidence that Ebele did not wed Obi-cubana for financial gain.

Obi-cubana actually says, “Money doesn’t give a happy marriage,” which may surprise many aspirant Nigerian youths. Obi-cubana quickly clarified, however, that “it helps make marriage easier.”

In fact, I dare say that the results of numerous famous marriage dissolutions may support this. For instance, if having money alone could ensure a successful marriage, why would one of the richest men in the world, Jeff Bezos, divorce his longtime wife and start a new relationship with another woman?

In fact, it seems obvious that when people marry for other reasons than true love, such as money, security, or as is the case with some women, to leave their parents’ home or because they are too old, the true love that should bind the couples together is absent. As a result, as soon as circumstances change after the marriage, they quickly reveal dislikeable traits or character flaws in the other, and soon hatred and disgust begin to set in, spouses start to see the other with disgust.

Therefore, there must be another secret component to creating a sweet and happy marriage in addition to money. 

The advice given by Obi-cubana to husbands is that if they want to keep their wives happy, they should make sure to give them the attention they crave (“Women love attention, ensure to give it to them”).

Obicubana, who actually lives up to his words, never misses an opportunity to show his wife Ebele love and admiration.

According to a report in the vanguardnewspaper, Obi-cubana serenaded his wife on Mother’s Day this year and posted about it on his Instagram feed.

 “Celebrating you today, Omalicha nwunye m! Happy Mother’s Sunday to you and all the amazing mothers all over the world. God bless and reward you for all you do. Amen. We love you.”

And his darling wife responding, “Thank you Dim Oma.”

Prior to this, he did not to forget to celebrate his wife, on the occasion of the international women day, posting her pictures with such words that would make any woman feel loved and cherished. He wrote, “I celebrate you today, my beautiful wife and all the beautiful women out there. You all are beautiful. You guys rock! Happy International Women’s Day!”

And Ebele his wife would not be outdone, replied, “Thank you, my king.”

While some men may forget their wives birthday, Obi-cubana  deosnot , according to report, on February 26th which is his wife birthday, Obi-cubana posted such endearing words on his instagram feed to his wife that  that would make many a woman blush.

He said: Every February 26th is a very special day for me, as I have every reason to thank God for creating a rare angel in human form, especially and specifically for me. I celebrate you each day we live, and I will celebrate you forever my Lush Eby!

“Thank you for who you are to me, and to everyone that comes across you. You are a very special being! Happy birthday the love of my life.”

Even last years when they celebrated their 14th wedding anniversary he  shamelessly spoiled her with so many words of endearment saying” “Grateful to God, thankful to Him for these great past 14 years of marital bliss, and the unimaginable blessings that followed. We appreciate you God!

 “To my love, Lush Eby, I will do this life journey with you over and over again. Thank you baby for all you are to me, and all you do for us. Happy 14th wedding anniversary to us.”

Obi-cubana does indeed show a high level of emotional intimacy, and his wife reciprocates in a similar way. In his article titled “How to grow Emotion intimacy,” Wayne Parker provided a definition of emotional intimacy. Emotional intimacy is defined as a closeness wherein both partners feel secure and loved and where communication and trust are abundant. According to Parker, husbands who put forth the effort to cultivate this emotional intimacy make better spouses, incredible husbands, and as a result, have strong marriages.

Consequently, at a time when research indicates that divorce rates are increasing and marital infidelity is prevalent in Nigeria,  Obi-cubana deserves praise for helping to restore the respect and love for marriage that have been so long neglected among his adoring young fans. He does this by celebrating his wife almost every year. Additionally, his actions are inspiring young people who are looking for examples of a contented married couple to emulate in order to model their own marriage, which the Church has always emphasized as the cornerstone of any society.

According to Catholic doctrine, marriage is a sacrament, a holy institution, and one that ought to endure until death. The family that prays together stays together, so it is important to ask God’s assistance by regularly receiving spiritual support, such as the Eucharist, and praying because it is not simple and many things can break a marriage’s bond.

Given that a family that prays together stays together, it is noteworthy that Obi Cubana and his wife were able to be seen on camera receiving Holy Communion during the celebration of their 15th wedding anniversary. This is a wonderful way to strengthen the love and unity between husband and wife. This is strong evidence that they are devout Catholics who understand the importance of receiving the Eucharist and prayer for a successful marriage.

We can therefore sum up by wishing Obi-cubana and his wife Ebele many more years of a happy marriage and urging other married couples to imitate Obi-cubana’s emotional intimacy with his wife. Though they might not be as wealthy as Obi-cubana, by doing this, their marriage could become rich in affection and happiness.

by

Chinwuba Iyizoba

Editor of Authorschoice

Kanye remarries, Kim says it’s really f**king hard

Kanye and Kim when the going was good

Kanye West(45) recently married his girlfriend, Bianca Censori(27), in a private ceremony away from prying eyes, according to rumors. This comes just two years after his high-profile divorce from flamboyant Kim Kardashian in 2020, which ended a seven-year marriage that began in 2014. The speed with which Kanye remarried, while Kim remains in limbo with no relationship that appears to be stable enough to lead to marriage, demonstrates that women frequently get the short end of the stick in divorce because men can marry at any time and even to younger women no matter how old they are, whereas divorced women have difficulty finding men who will marry them.

Bianca Censori

“It’s really f**king hard,” Kim admitted in an interview. ” I don’t know if I’ll get married again, but I’ll have my forever partner. That I am aware of. He’s definitely coming. I’m at peace, and I’m going to have a good time until that happens.”

She should be reminded, however, that the essence of marriage, at least the Christian marriage, is forever, but this takes effort and determination to stick it out “for better or for worse till death do part,” even when things are not going well. Unfortunately, this is not Kim’s view of marriage. Kim, 40, revealed that she filed for divorce because total happiness seemed to elude her; after 7 years of marriage, she realized she was unhappy.

“I just want total happiness,” she said. “Obviously, I understand that complete bliss is not a complete reality, but all I want is to have it more of the time.”

Critics would argue that this is childish because no one can be completely happy in this world and that it is simply a sign of immaturity and being a spoilt brat. She claims she can’t believe she’s worked her whole life and made so much money to be unhappy. Forbes recently named her a billionaire with a net worth of $1.8 billion.

“I’m numb like, tired of that, but I know I’ll be happy,” she said, almost in tears. “I didn’t come this far just to be unhappy,” she explained in a recent interview.

They say that money can’t buy happiness and this is proving true in her case. Additionally, studies show that happiness comes indirectly and as a result of self-sacrificing love for others. For instance, a mother is happy indirectly by making sacrifices for her children so that they grow up happy and strong, and hence a mother’s true happiness is to see her children happy. Kim and Kanye had four children as a result of their 2014 marriage, and it’s heartbreaking to imagine what those children must be going through seeing their parents shunning each other and reuniting with total strangers.

What can Kim and Kanye’s children learn from them about fidelity, love, and keeping a promise? I doubt they would be able to learn anything good from two fickle, arrogant, thick-headed parents. Indeed, the availability of no-fault divorce makes it more difficult for parents to seek honest solutions to their problems, with many opting for the easy way out that divorce offers at a significant cost to their children. Indeed, every child has the right to a stable home and relies on their parents’ love and bond as irrefutable proof of their enduring love.

Kanye and his daughter, North

Her eldest daughter was recently shown in the paper meeting her new stepmother, which is sad and must be very upsetting for children, and until adults understand that marriage is not just about them, and that their children’s happiness also matters, this type of thing will never end. In any case, Kim will not find happiness and her forever love by hopping from one husband to the next, and unlike her ex-husband, Kanye, who can have any woman regardless of age, she does not have that option because her clock is ticking.

Article by Matt Lee

McKenzie Bezos in a second Divorce, separation from Jeff hurt her.

McKenzie and Jeff when they were young and going was good

The recent news that McKenzie Scott, the ex-wife of Amazon billionaire Jeff Bezos, is divorcing her second husband in two years should come as no surprise to anyone familiar with previous research on divorce, which confirms the disruptive effects it has on victims, particularly women and children. McKenzie appears to be the innocent party in her 25-year marriage to Jeff Bezos, the father of her four children when Jeff’s obsession with another woman became public. Indeed, Jeff Bezos announced the divorce in a tweet in January 2019, following the public revelation of his adulterous relationship with a married woman, Lauran Sanchez.

Though McKenzie received a large portion of Bezos’ billion (approximately USD37 billion) in divorce settlements, it pales in comparison to what she lost: a family trust built over 25 years, shattered; betrayal by the father of her four children; the security of a familiar life all gone up in smoke, and the feeling of having to start life almost all over again, and launch out in search of love when her beauty and youth have already been spent. Some may argue that having the option of dating other men is part of the excitement of being single again, but that is not the case. Those who claim this are incorrect. There is a special joy in having a trusted confidant who has accompanied you on your journey. McKenzie and Jeff built Amazon from the ground up, and what a journey it must have been, with so many shared memories spanning decades, so many shared adventures, so many dangers overcome together, and so many bullets dodged. All of this is gone.

Hence, divorce hurts women more than men because they age faster, are more vulnerable, and lose their fertility at a younger age. Despite variations, research confirms that a significant number of women lose their ability to bear children (menopause) between the ages of 47 and 54. A man, on the other hand, is very capable of bearing children even at the age of 70 and above; in fact, the world’s oldest new dad, who is from India, fathered a child at the age of 96, according to Livescience.com (https://www.livescience.com/24196-male-fertility-limit.html). Furthermore, divorce, according to Reynolds (2017), is harmful to children’s well-being; it is unjust to wives, who need their husbands’ protection rather than being dismissed when their good looks begin to deteriorate (Reynolds 2017). That is why, according to St. Thomas, divorce is unnatural because it places the woman on an unequal footing with the man who, after having enjoyed her youth, is able to cast her out when her youth is failing.

Furthermore, divorce is also wrong because it puts both couples on guard as every temporary union does and hence, both couples may not be able to give themselves completely to each other without reserves, but rather deliberately hold back, keeping something back in case the marriage fails. Hence, the Catholic Church insists that marriage is for life and that the bonds are irrevocable, and that it is not a union based on the satisfaction of the two adults’ passions, but rather, based on justice, which includes keeping promises made for better or for worse. “The promise, made when I am in love and because I am in love, to be true to the beloved as long as I live, commits one to be true even if I cease to be in love,” wrote C.S. Lewis.

Hence, if this is understood, there would be less emphasis on being in love, which has resulted in so much divorce and broken marriages, and when people realize that they are no longer in love.  Jeff Bezos abandoned his wife of 25 years because he was no longer in love with her but with another woman, it demonstrates that human passions are fickle and nothing lasting can be built on them. “The Christian idea of marriage is based on Christ’s words that a man and wife are to be regarded as a single organism—for that is what the words “one flesh” mean,” writes C.S Lewis. Marriage is not for personal fulfillment, writes Seth Smith in his article “Marriage isn’t for you,:  You marry to make someone else happy, not to make yourself happy. More importantly, you’re marrying for a family, not for yourself. Not just for the sake of the in-laws and all that nonsense, but also for the sake of your future children. in addition, C.S Lewis argues that there are several sound reasons to remain married even if love is gone: to provide a home for their children, to protect the woman (who has probably sacrificed or damaged her beauty by bearing children from being dropped whenever the man is tired of her.

In conclusion, we could argue that McKenzie’s second divorce, which occurred less than a year after her first, proves that her separation from Jeff, her husband of 25 years, was detrimental to her, as studies show it is to women due to the greater sense of loss and insecurity women experience after a divorce due to the earlier aging and loss of fertility that affects them compared to men.

This article was written by Bawo Olisaemka

Works Cited

C.S. Lewis. Reasons not to Divorce when Love is gone, 2013. Retrieved from https://authorschoice.org/2013/08/04/two-in-one-flesh/ Accessed 9th Jan 2023.

Eli MacKinnon. Is There an Age Limit to Male Fertility? 26^th Jan 2022. Retrieved from https://www.livescience.com/24196-male-fertility-limit.html Accessed 11th Jan 2023.

Reynolds, Philip L. “St. Thomas Aquinas.” Christianity and Family Law: An Introduction, edited by John Witte, Jr and Gary S. Hauk, Cambridge University Press, Cambridge, 2017, pp. 161–178. Law and Christianity.

Seth Smith. Marriage Isn’t For You By Seth Smith, 2013. Retrieved from https://authorschoice.org/2013/11/15/marriage-isnt-for-you-by-seth-smith/ Accessed 12 Jan 2023.

5 yrs Relationship and No Sex between Actor Alex Ekubo and Model Fancy Acholonu

Alex and Fancy

In the recent stories making waves, the model Fancy Acholonu said in an interview that she and her boyfriend, the actor Alex Ekubo, had never had sexual contact during their five-year relationship, setting off a media frenzy. Predictably, her comment produced a wave of conjecture, criticism, and allegation rather than praise for the couple’s wisdom, nobility, and self-control in not engaging in sexual activity before marriage. People in today’s sexualized culture who apparently have trouble wrapping their heads around the ideas of sexual purity and abstinence have even speculated that Alex might be a secret homosexual.

There are numerous reasons why someone might choose not to have premarital sex. In an article titled 10 Benefits of Remaining a Virgin Until Marriage, Nancy Hanna claims that there are ten solid reasons not to engage in premarital sex, one of which is the avoidance of serious sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) such as HIV/AIDS, human papillomavirus (HPV), and many more. Doubtless, premarital sex has been shown to increase the risk of contracting one of the many venereal diseases that are prevalent today, as well as losing fertility. People who engage in premarital sex are more likely to contract STDs because premarital sex has been linked to sexual promiscuity. Consequently, Anna Kemarch argues in her article 16 Lessons I Learned After Losing My Virginity at 16 that couples who engage in premarital sex have a higher rate of promiscuity and are more likely to have more sexual partners than couples who do not, increasing the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. In addition to HIV/AIDS, other harmful, incurable, and disfiguring diseases, such as herpes, which has a cure, can be contacted. Anna claims that the only foolproof way to avoid STDs is to be faithful to one partner in marriage.

Even more forcefully, Maureen Abah argues in an article titled, 10 Reasons I’m Glad I Kept My Virginity Until Marriage, that abstaining from premarital sex allows both parties in the relationship to be clear-sighted and objective in the relationship, whereas sexual intimacy clouds the vision and can create unhealthy emotional attachment in an abusive relationship. She contends that couples in sex-free relationships are often more free to consider whether to continue the relationship than couples in sexual relationships, which strongly enslave them to prolong an unhealthy relationship based on physical attraction or the need for security. She goes on to say that people who are having sex may feel “trapped” in a relationship that they want to end but can’t find a way out of simply because they are infatuated with the sex they are having or they feel that they have given away far too much of themselves and are ashamed and lost. On the other hand, someone who hasn’t had sex can more easily break the emotional bond with another because there hasn’t been such powerful physical intimacy. Furthermore, if the woman becomes pregnant, neither partner feels as free to decide to separate, marry, go to work, and so on.

Indeed, Alex and Fancy are able to walk away from their relationship with fewer regrets because they were not having sex, and perhaps that is why they are able to do so now easily and without bitterness. Indeed, Maureen argues that there is more than twice the physical aggression among couples having premarital sex together without any commitment than among married couples. When dating couples decide to postpone sexual activity, there is less jealousy and less selfishness than when passion is the driving force.  Maureen gives the example of a friend who decided to end her relationship with a guy with whom she had sex, and the guy went to town bragging about how many times he had her and so on. Breakups and the resulting pain are more intense when sex is involved. The recent incident involving Empress Njamah’s ex-fiancé, who started posting nude pictures of her after they split up, serves as a reminder of this. According to reports, Empress Njamah’s boyfriend, George “Baby Brother” Wade, decided to blackmail her by creating a WhatsApp group to which he added multiple people and began posting naked videos of her in her home. He has even threatened her with more, and as things stand, the Empress may have to resort to lawsuits to end the humiliation, aside from the embarrassment of having her nude all over social media. More humiliation is on the way, since he has threatened it, and Empress may have to resort to legal action to stop it.

Empress Njamah

And for those who are making flippant comments about Alex and Fancy’s decision to avoid premarital sex, it is unfortunate that premarital sex has become the norm rather than the exception when it was once the exception.

In conclusion, Fancy Acholonu should be grateful that she and Alex never had premarital sex because there is no doubt that when you have not been sexually intimate and decide to break up, the separation is less devastating. Relationships based on sexual gratification are quite ephemeral and transient, and, as we have seen, there are quite a number of credible reasons for avoiding premarital sexual encounters. A few odd years ago, it was assumed by everyone that couples who are dating are clean and noble and avoid sex.

Article by

Chinwuba Iyizoba

Editor, Authorchoise

The Devil Wears Prada (A review)

Andrea and her live-in boyfriend

I just saw the movie “The Devil Wears Prada (2006)” and thought to myself that it is unusual for Hollywood films to have a name referring to supernatural things like the devil, so naturally, I was curious and watched it. It is the story of Andrea (Anne Hathaway), a college graduate who gets a job in the high fashion industry, and in order to impress her overbearing boss (Meryl Streep) and keep her job, she metamorphoses from a simple girl who loves wearing flat shoes to a high-heeled catwalk model, much to the chagrin of her boyfriend and ends up wrecking their marriage. No, they are living together.

Yes, you heard me right; Andrea and her boyfriend aren’t husband and wife. They are just living together, enjoying all the entitlements of married life without actually being married. Her boyfriend wants her to be there for him, to work less, and to come home on time for “family” time, yet they aren’t actually a family. The film ends on a high note when Andrea quits her job, walking out on her overbearing boss because she realizes that she really doesn’t want to be like her boss who has had a series of divorces and was just beginning another one with her latest husband. So she quits her hugely successful career, but for what? So that she could be a perfect girlfriend to her neglected boyfriend?

I think there is something wrong with Hollywood wanting us to believe that live-in relationships are equivalent to marriage when they aren’t, and until Andrea and her boyfriend decide to get married, they are basically living a lie since the marital bond is what creates the family; any other thing is just a shame, and they may wake up one day and walk out, and that is the end of it. Even a temporary thing like getting a job needs some form of formal agreement—a contract, an employment letter, and terms of agreements that enable both parties to understand the relationship between themselves and the different obligations that each owes to the other. Similarly, a football player is received into a new team and signs a new contract in which the terms of understanding between the club and the players are clearly spelled out. Thus, a relationship between Andrea and her boyfriend, though they pretend to be husband and wife because they have no formal marriage contract can at best be likened to a player playing all the major games without a signed contract or a employee who works hard daily in a nice company but has no employment contract. In both cases the situation is indefensible. This is but a weak analogy because marriage is much more than a contract; it is actually a covenant in which two persons exchange vows of giving themselves whole and entire to the other. As Professor Scott Hahn puts it, “In a contract, there is an exchange of goods, in marriage; there is the exchange of persons.” The sacrament or vow of marriage is what makes a family, any other thing would be a pretense and untruthful.

Still, in the same line, the movie portrays Andrea as having a flippant attitude about sex; she treats it as a casual pastime. As such when she is on a trip to Paris, she meets a friend who has helped in the past and has been desiring her since, so they go out and have some drinks, and the next thing they are kissing and Voila! She ends up in bed with him. But the next morning, it was as if nothing happened, she casually picked up her things and walked out. I beg to disagree. There is nothing casual about sex. It is actually very serious and should be treated like so. How so? Well for one, sex leads not just to emotional bonding but also physical bonding such that if one is afflicted with a disease let’s say for example HIV/AIDs or any of the deadly sexually transmitted diseases, the other might just catch it, so don’t let Hollywood fool you. Similarly, during sex, there is a whole exchange of bodily fluids that are sometimes unpleasant.  But even more important regardless of the deception and denial of the modern age, sex is a source of human life and is really meant for people who are married

To sum up, the whole point the movie is straining to make is that one must get one’s priorities right, placing family over fortunes but the problem is that the movie misses the more fundamental point that there is no family without marriage and that a job contract is far more secure relationship than a live-in-boyfriend and sometimes last longer. Hollywood has to help bring back the right concept of family and stop promoting harmful practices.

by Chinwuba Iyizoba

Amy Corney Barrett is good for America and the World

Justice Amy Corney Barret.

The recent confirmation and swearing-in of Amy Barrett to the US Supreme Court is something very significant and disruptive to the false feminist theory that motherhood and family shackle women down, preventing them from reaching heights attained by their male counterparts. For far too long, the image of the successful woman has been the movie star, single, or divorced but usually always childless, perhaps having had multiple abortions. This message has been devastating to adolescent girls who really wish to marry and have families, as well as reach the peak of their chosen careers. Now they know it is possible. A woman can be the best, even with children strapped to her apron.  Amy Corney Barrett has revealed to these young teens an alternative path to the same goal, but this time, family and children can come along. Amy is living proof that nothing holds a woman back except her own fears. Yes, a woman can have it all and more. Rarely have we seen a beautiful woman with seven beautiful children, most of whom are school-aged, shatter the highest glass ceiling in the philosophy, science, and study of law.

Her judicial philosophy of originalism, simply put, is the philosophy that proposes to interpret the law as it is, not as she would wish it to be. It is speaking the truth, it is the progressivism of truthfulness, of striving to decipher what the authors of the law had in mind when they wrote the law,  rather than imposing her own meaning, which unfortunately is all the vogue in a postmodernist America and indeed the world.  We see it today in mainstream media, journalism, and even the highest citadel of learning, the universities. In the humanities, subjective postmodernist textual interpretations are now institutionalized. Amy’s originalism seeks to confirm that reality is objective and not subjective. The law is what it is, not whatever she wishes it to be and more importantly, she wishes to respect the integrity of the authors of the American Constitution who wished to communicate something, Amy pledges to try to hear or understand what they is trying to say is to respect and recognize them as individuals, capable of making statements.

Those who attack her originalism argue that the US Constitution is a text written two centuries ago, and many of its provisions apply to today’s people. Though this argument, on the surface, seems logical, its underlying assumptions are that the social and civil ills that beset people two hundred years ago are fundamentally different from today. This is clearly false. Though we are technologically more advanced, the fundamental human problems of justice, equity, and fairness are much the same today as they were two hundred years ago, and will likely remain so till the end of time. Thus laws moderating life in society today should not be fundamentally different from yesteryears.

Amy Corney Barrett is an originalist because she loves the truth and believes that age-old maxim that says that the truth will set you free. In addition, she is a woman of faith, during the confirmation hearings, she caught the world’s attention when she said that she believes in the power of prayer and that she knows that many people are praying for her. With this, she shared the secret of her strength with the world. Her faith in God! She is a shining example of how faith should be lived. Some Christians wait for pies from the skies. Amy works hard, like anybody else; in fact, she works better than the best because she is not just working for money but for God.  This is how a Christian should work, says Josemaria Escriva, the founder of Opus Dei, as people who participate in the creative work of God, and since God’s works are always perfect, a Christian has to strive for perfection in his work because it is also something that has to be offered to God. Working like this and living like this, turning work into an occasion to serve God through her neighbors was something that Amy Barrett was very good at. Her work as a university professor brought her in contact with many people who she was able to help in one way or another. As a large-hearted Judge, asks herself before passing judgment, what she would do if she was passing the same judgment on her own child. This is how she feels and senses the pains of others.

In summary, Amy Corney Barrett’s love for the truth, her in-depth knowledge of law and jurisprudence, her philosophy of originalism, her human and spiritual empathy with others, and her strong love and faith in God are overwhelming evidence that she is an immense contribution to the Supreme Court of America and that her sterling qualities would have a great and positive impact on American lives and indeed the world for years to come.

Why Amy Barrett Matters

amy-coney-barrett-1

Just this week, Stevie, a female member of a British rock band called, Fleetwood Mac,   told the world that, thanks to her abortion, she was able to make a success out of her musical career, “If I had not had that abortion, I’m pretty sure there would have been no Fleetwood Mac”. Incidentally, this same week, Justice Amy Coney Barrett, a beautiful woman of 48, is set to be confirmed as the ninth Justice of US Supreme Court, having climbed to the highest peak of a career in the legal profession that few women can dream of, while being a wife and a mother of 7 teenage children, which includes two adopted children from Haiti and one child with down syndrome. As the world stands in awe of this great woman, perhaps it is a time to take a few moments to reflect on this two very different world views.

The first world view, the world view of Ms Stevie, propagated by the ideologues of a postmodern world, is the world view  that motherhood, family and children are oppressive forces, holding women back from real progress, and ensure that they never actualize their potencies. They sell this notion by celebrating the likes of Ms Stevie, flooding the front cover of their media tabloids with selfies she took in her underwears with Hollywood super star status pinned to her backside like a medal of honor, a media anointed queen of impressionable young girls.

Yet, the same devious ideologues are bending over backwards to gloss over or at best pay only grudging acknowledgment to a better and a more shining world view, that of Amy Coney Barrett, an intelligent, articulate and astonishingly brilliant woman who had faced the odds like other millions of hard working women all over the world, hard at work, while raising children, (future citizens of the world), and yet emerged brilliantly at the very top of their profession. Thus, the false narrative pushed by those who control the media has been deeply debunked by the tremendous success of Amy Barrett. She hurts their narrative, and the narrative of the abortion industry that claims that the only way a modern woman can stride to the top is if she has unrestricted access to abortion. Barrett confirmation ensures that women are deceived no longer.  Women do not necessarily have to choose their careers over family, love of children. It is actually the other way round for it can be argued that Justice Barrett may not have been where she is today but for her family.

True, her record breaking achievement is not a recent thing, having been practically a pace setter all her life. She graduated in English and literature with great honors and went on to study law at Notre Dame, graduating top of her class, a keen intellect, a scholar with formidable capacity, nevertheless evidence shows that having children only makes a sharp intellect keener. This second world view has been confirmed to be a better fulfilling world view, one that leads to even more enduring success by the testimony of so many women who have gone on to achieve surpassing greatness precisely because of their love for family and children. Singer and superstar Adele said that she overcome discouragement and the urge to give up singing when she had her child because she wanted her child to know “what his mother does”. Serena William won top world tennis championship after having a baby.

 At 48, Amy has shattered the entire glass ceiling in the legal and academic citadels and poised to become member of the US Supreme Court all the while juggling children, a husband and a child with special needs, in dramatic refutation of postmodernist feminist claims that family and children are obstacle to a woman’s dream. It would be inexcusable for anyone to believe these falsehoods from now on.

Furthermore, Amy’s nomination has put her in the spot light, bringing to lime light all good she has been doing secretly. She and her husband could have closed themselves up from the troubles of the world, enjoying their sheltered, blessed life of high success all by themselves. Yet they reached out to lend a hand to the less privileged, to the poor and made the decision to adopt two children from one of the most destitute countries in the world, Haiti. They lifted out those children, a boy and a girl, and brought them out of misery and into their own home, into their own lives, thus giving hope and a future to those who could not have dreamed off it.

The Barretts demonstrate that Christianity is not a theory to be espoused and not practiced, but a real dynamics that demands a radical commitment in those who choose to be called by that name. As Pope Francis says in his latest encyclical, Fratelli Tutti, “The “gospel” of save yourself is not the Gospel of salvation. It is the falsest of the apocryphal gospels, making others carry the cross. Whereas the true Gospel bids us take up the cross of others.” This action of the Barretts restores faith in humanity. Further evidence of Amy’s goodness came from a blind student who testified at the hearing saying that Amy Coney Barrett is the kindest and most generous professor she had ever had at the university and went on to narrate her story of arriving at Notre Dame as a blind student only to find out that the school did not have facilities for the blind, the type of laptop /brail she needed and finally finding herself flunking her grades went to Amy Barrett for help. After she had finished speaking, Amy told her, “Laura, this is no longer your problem it is my problem now,” and went on to solve all her problems.   

Finally, according to three presently serving female Governors in the US, Kay Ivey, Kristi Noem, & Kim Reynolds, “Should Judge Barrett be confirmed, “it will be a win-win for every female—young and old alike during the past 100 years—who has dreamed of seeing women advance to the top positions of our government.”

by Chinwuba Iyizoba

A life worth living: Denzel and Pauletta Washington’s 40 yrs Marriage

The Washington family

A life without self-examination is meaningless, according to Socrates; only when we strive to learn about ourselves can our lives be worthwhile. Last year, when Denzel Washington received the American Film Institute (AFI) Life Achievement Award, this fact was made abundantly clear to those in attendance. Julia Roberts thanked Denzel for helping her get her life back on track during the filming of Pelican Brief in 1992 when she was going through a rough patch in her personal and professional life. When she confided in Denzel and his wife, she said she felt like she could open up and share her problems with them because of their genuine concern and support. An incredible story in Hollywood, where men are notorious for exploiting vulnerable women, is unquestionably this one. Not only does Denzel, a black man, help a white woman, but he introduces her to his wife as well.

Julia Roberts

He also teaches a valuable lesson to married men: If you wish to help other women, do so with your wife. That way your help will be more effective and what’s more, you will not run the unnecessary risk of endangering your marriage by getting emotionally entangled with a woman who is not your wife and whom your wife knows nothing about. The devil that drives men to adultery thrives in secrecy. When fail to introduce their wives to the women they work with, leave the door open to possible infidelity.

Again,  in Hollywood, where serial divorce, adultery, and infidelity are the norm, there is no doubt that a good role model like Denzel Washington, who has risen to the very top of that industry and yet kept his sense of duty, family, and honor intact, is in high demand.

Interestingly, when Denzel finally mounted in the midst of thundering applause, he began by thanking God and asking God’s forgiveness for what he had done badly.

Denzel delivers his thank-you address

“I m up here to say thank you to God for giving me this ability, for blessing me, for shaping me, for chastising me, for teaching me, for punishing me, and for allowing me to be a vessel to touch people around the world.”

Few actors can boast of the kind of success that Denzel Washington has had in Hollywood: he was a two-time Oscar winner and starred in at least 53 movies—mostly blockbusters—in a career that spanned 40 years, yet even fewer actors can boast of his capacity for self-examination. While success often spurs disdain for religion, Denzel’s success, on the other hand, makes him more humble in acknowledging God and his instrument for sustaining, nurturing, and supporting him.

In his speech, he appreciated his mother at 95 and declared that his father taught him how to be a man. Turning to his wife of 40 years, he proclaimed, “I would not be alive without Pauletta Washington. 40 years of sacrifice and 40 years of forgiveness, she taught me about faith, spirituality, love, real love, and unwavering love, in spite of myself.”

Older than Denzel when they got married, Pauletta has been the balancing force in his life, helping to anchor him from the illusory world of make-believe to the nitty-gritty of reality. Mother of his children, she surely must have fought many fearful battles with jealousy whenever it rears its ugly head as beautiful dashing damsels flock towards her handsome husband, ready to give him anything if he so much as smiles at them. However, she did not let fear override the trusting confidence that every spouse deserves. Her devotion to the home made him long to return home, to her and his children. Today, she is blessed to hear him acknowledge it before the rich and powerful and attest to the truth that the power of a woman is not solely in her external beauty but her internal as well.

Unfortunately, many people claim that a happy marriage is all about money and that having made money, Denzel and Pauletta no longer need to struggle to love each other. This is not true. A cursory look at the dismal marital landscape of Hollywood, full of battered, violent, and ruptured marriages, with all the abuses, infidelities, and misery, is sufficient to refute this argument.

Denzel and Pauletta have confirmed that marital fidelity is possible regardless of the environment. Their example is a challenge to those who have already caved into licentiousness to pick up the pieces and begin again and an encouragement to the young. It also demonstrates that the prevalence of toxic culture as opposed to life, values, and spirit is largely due to individual choices.

Denzel then played a video where Pauletta’s father said:

“We were put here for a reason. God created man and God intends for us to love all mankind and by being in a loving mood, and caring for one another, that is our purpose for life. We should care for one another, and we should love one another.”

His words echoed the words of Jesus Christ, “Love one another by this all men will know that you are my disciples,” reminding all that all lives matter. Love does not discriminate. Jesus said to love our enemies and do good to those who hate us and thus we will be like our Father in heaven. The hate we see today is proof that we have ditched the Christian faith and that witness is lacking.

 “In this Twitter mean world we have created for our children,” Denzel continued, “the least we can do is to consider what we have done and think about the young people, the future and individually, collectively do the best we can to try and turn this thing around.”

 Perhaps to the surprise of many of his colleagues who have been blaming President Trump for all the evil in the world, Denzel said, “I blame no one, I look in the mirror.”

“On the other side of it,” he continued, “what an opportunity we have–because tomorrow is the first day of the rest of our lives– what an opportunity we have to practice what Pauletta’s father preached.”  

 In the end, Denzel’s qualities as an actor, for which he was being honored, is the quality expected of all, but more especially from Christians. The Christian faith calls all Christians to do all things well as Christ did. St. Josemaria Escriva, the founder of Opus Dei, has preached the message of sanctification of work since 1928 and that Christian holiness depends on work well done, for God.

Finally, Denzel has borne witness that a well-done work leads us towards God, and that work sanctifies and sanctifies others. Millions the world over watched as Julia Roberts narrated how working with Denzel and seeing how much he loves his wife made a deep impression on her.  Julia, who herself is a remarried divorcee, knows more than anyone does the challenges of marriage. She has now been married for 17 years to her present husband perhaps due to her emulating the life of Denzel, a life worth living.

By Chinwuba Iyizoba

Editor of Authors-choice

Marry her! People tell man who shielded girlfriend from shooter with his body

They say that real men protect women. The terrifying video of a man who used his own body to shield his girlfriend from the shooter in the recent shooting at Dayton Ohio has gone viral. Camryn Crowder, 24, jumped on top of his girlfriend, Brittany Dungey to shield her from flying bullets when a gunman killed nine people, including his sister, and injured 26, in less than one minute on Sunday, 4^th August 2019

https://videopress.com/v/mcwGkImg?resizeToParent=true&cover=true&preloadContent=metadata

CCTV footage showed Crowder using his body to shield Brittany as bullet flew.

The couple was walking through the Oregon District around 1am when they heard gunshots ring out. Brittany took off running and Crowder instinctively pushed her to the ground and pulled her body under him and army crawled towards the curb, checked that the coast was clear, then both ran away from the scene

“I turn my head and I see some guy pointing a gun,” Crowder said, adding he pushed his girlfriend to the ground “to make sure she didn’t get hit.”

Many of the comments on the dailymail.co.uk where the story was reported are calling on the couple to get properly married.

 They have been living together unmarried for a while and Brittany recently gave birth to a baby girl for Crowder.  After what happened, she should be rest assured that he is a real man ready to protect her and marry him.

Brittany pregnant with Crowder’s baby

Studies show that marriage confers a lot of benefit such as happiness and stability to a relationship.

Married couples are generally healthier and live longer lives than their single peers, they are also more economically stable and earn much more than the unmarried counterparts, and typically, the economic capacity of a married couple’s household exceeds that of a single-parent household by nearly three times the amount in income.

 Also research show that children do better in a stable home with a married mother and father, and are more likely to attend college, are physically and emotionally healthier than their peers raised in non-married families and are significantly less likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, alcohol and drug abuse, and thoughts of suicide. Read more about the benefits of marriage here

Whatever they decide going forward, Crowder has restored people’s faith that real men still exist. He has been praised as real hero and rightly so, for believe it or not or not, this old notion that real men protect women, is fast disappearing everywhere.

Chinwuba Iyizoba

Irate Wife Smashes Laptop on Husband’s head for looking at other women: Controlling Anger issues

Tiffany McLemore and her Hubby in happier times

Some people explode with anger because they discover they can control others by doing this. “If you don’t do what I want, I will make you very uncomfortable by blowing up. You might control someone today with your anger, but tomorrow that person might no longer put up with your behavior or might not even be around to control. This is the behavior of a furious wife, 30, who smashed a laptop over her husband’s head ‘because he looked at another woman on an American Airlines flight’

According to dailymail.uk, Tiffany McLemore, 30, launched the merciless attack after accusing her husband of ‘looking at another woman’ on a plane preparing to depart from Miami to Los Angeles on Sunday. Flight attendants asked the husband to move to another seat away from her. As he walked down the aisle she chased him and slammed a laptop over his head

The crew threatened to have McLemore arrested so she stormed off the plane. Police were unable to locate her in the airport and her whereabouts are unknown

The husband said he did not want to press charges and took a later flight home. The couple, who live in Los Angeles, appear to have two children together

https://videopress.com/v/p1XbBmHG

In footage filmed by fellow passengers that went viral on social media

Controlling anger issues

The truth is that someone else may well have done something wrong, and our feeling of anger may well be his fault. But our blowing our stack is not his fault. It’s our own fault. We are not like animals, which, when provoked, have no choice but to react violently. When we feel angry, we have a choice to act either rationally or irrationally.

Forgiveness expert Dr. Fred Luskin says that anger and unforgiveness quite often stem from the breaking of our “unforceable rules” For example, my mother should have loved me, or my husband must be faithful, or my friend should never lie to me. If you make a rule like that and it is broken, you may go wild with anger. Now all of these “rules” are good and desirable, but you cannot ensure that they will play out in life. You may try to manipulate others into keeping these rules, but ultimately, you are setting yourself up for failure. People are free to choose their actions, and sometimes they choose wrongly. So, you need to change your rules into desires. I hope my husband will be faithful and my friend will not lie to me. It would have been nice if my mother had loved me, but although she didn’t live up to my desires, I will survive. And I won’t ruin my peace because she didn’t come through as I would have liked

Anger (the sin) and unforgiveness are related to pride. In essence, it is saying, “How dare you make me feel bad!” or “How dare life give me this trouble!” Pride is considered the root or beginning of all sin. I often encourage people with an anger problem to pray daily for humility.

One of the Spiritual Works of Mercy: to endure injustices patiently. That is a key element in living a spiritual life that many Christians forget. Sure, we try to get justice, but anyone

Any who has lived a while in this world knows that you can’t always get it. Sometimes we just have to live with an injustice, and if we bear it patiently, we gain a great deal of grace. A cousin of this spiritual work of mercy is to forgive all injuries. If we can make habits of this and of bearing injustices patiently, we will be well on our way to real holiness.

The most basic way to know that we have forgiven others is to pray for them, for their good and especially for their salvation. St. Elizabeth of Hungary once prayed to God to give great graces to those who had injured her the most. After this prayer Jesus said to her, “My dear daughter, never in your life did you make a prayer more pleasing to me than the one you have just said for your enemies; on account of this prayer I forgive not only all your sins but even all temporal punishments due to them.”

Heal Painful Memories

Sometimes people get stuck when they try to get over their anger or to forgive. They can’t seem to erase the terrible memory. A key way to deal with this is called healing of memories.

Dennis and Matthew Linn have studied the whole process of healing memories, and they suggest that there are five stages in healing a memory, similar to the five stages of facing death outlined by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross:

1. Denial: The person refuses to admit he was hurt.

2. Anger: The person blames others for hurting him.

3. Bargaining: The person puts conditions on his willingness to forgive.

In other words, he decides what it would take for him to forgive. Although these conditions are usually unlikely to be met, the offended person at least allows that forgiveness might be possible.

 4. Depression: The person is down on himself for allowing this hurt to paralyze him.

5. Acceptance: The person seeks to grow from this hurt.

Calm Marital Anger

Having worked with a good number of married couples, I have discovered that anger is a strong force for dividing husband and wife. Each spouse needs to know how to keep calm and to help the other keep calm as well.

A Wife’s Healthy Anger

Is there a way for a woman to get angry at her husband without harshness, without setting her heart against him? Is there a way of getting angry that will charm him and win him over rather than depress him? Absolutely. It’s called “childlike anger” in Helen Andelin’s best-seller, Fascinating Womanhood. I would call it playful anger.

click here for free download of Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin

Here’s how it works: she gets “adorably angry,” as does a young child. She threatens never to speak to him again, and as she walks away, she looks back to see if he is taking her seriously. This childlike exaggeration makes the man want to laugh. It makes him feel stronger, sensible, like a real man. This sauciness of a child, says Andelin, is most attractive to a man and is far better than the meanness of a bitter woman (or resentful silence).

Here are some of the rules Andelin gives: Eliminate all bitterness, resentment, sarcasm, hate, and ugliness.  Use only adjectives that will uphold his masculinity, such as big, tough, lug, brute, hard-headed, stiff-necked, or hairy beast. Never use imp, nerd, wimp, little, creep, or jerk. . Exaggerate. For example, “What’s a big brute like you doing picking on a poor, defenseless woman like me?” Or make an exaggerated threat such as “I’ll never speak to you again!”

One woman Andelin describes had had a miserable marriage for eight years. She started being more positive and loving as taught in Fascinating Womanhood, and things improved.

One day her husband was telling a young marriage-minded bachelor he should think twice before marrying. “Look at all the headaches a wife can bring.”

He kept going on and on, knowing that his wife was very much within earshot.

Finally the wife had had enough. She decided to try playful anger.

She turned to her husband, stomped her foot, and said, “You big hairy beast! I’m never going to like you again, ever!”

 As she left the room, she looked back with a faint smile. Her husband was grinning from ear to ear as he said to the young man, “Did you hear what she called me?” When she got to her bedroom, she wondered, “Great, but what now?”

He had never once apologized in eight years. But just minutes later he came in and said, “I’m sorry, and I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. Will you forgive me?” She wrote “I’d have forgiven him anything at that moment.”

Two months later he gave her a birthday card — his first ever. It had a cute little hairy beast on the front, and on the inside he had written, “Happy Birthday! Lovingly, Your Hairy Beast.”

 Another woman read Adeline’s book and had been planning to put this playful anger into effect. She would practice in front of a mirror, trying to keep a straight face. Finally, the big moment arrived. Her husband came down to breakfast one

He began to smile and they both had a good laugh. They avoided a nasty day.

Calming an Angry Wife

 Now, when a husband has an angry wife, whether she expresses childlike anger or explosive anger, what can he do? One thing he shouldn’t do is lose his own cool. If she expresses childlike anger, he can smile back at her, but he should be sure to tell her, “I’m sorry I made you angry. Will you forgive me?” as the man in the earlier example did. Simple enough.

If she expresses explosive anger, he should listen carefully until she is finished. Then, once he knows why she is angry, he can offer to discuss the matter.

 He could say, “Tell me what I did wrong, and I will try to improve.”

That’s often a winner. When a woman is upset, angry or not, she often wants to talk about it. He needs to listen.

Calming an Angry Husband.

 St. Monica had a husband with a wild temper. When he got angry, she would say nothing. She would go about her business saying very little and wait until he had calmed down to speak to him. She had plenty to complain about too, since her husband was a womanizer, as were most of the husbands in Tagaste (Northern Africa) at the time. Many of her friends suffered bruises from their husbands, but Monica didn’t, because she knew when to be quiet and when to speak. Best of all, she was able to facilitate the conversion of her pagan husband and his difficult mother. Was she a doormat? No way. She knew what was important to her — her relationship with God — and she was not going to allow anything to interfere with that, even her exasperating husband. It seems that silence or speaking very little — not defending oneself and not losing one’s temper — is the best way to calm an angry husband. It is hard to have a rational conversation with a man who is in a rage. “Let every man be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does not work the righteousness of God” (James 1:19–20). This is not the silent treatment. It is waiting out the storm, not punishing. Once a husband gets a lot of his anger out, his wife might say, “As I read you, you’re upset because of [whatever it is], right?”

And then she can try to have a rational discussion. She can ask him if he would be willing to tell her more and tell him that she really wants to understand. And, if he tells her more, she can offer him some help in the matter. It’s all about putting aside her anger at the way he’s behaving and getting to the sore point and healing it. St. Paul of the Cross wrote, “When you feel the assaults of passion and anger, then is the time to be silent, as Jesus was silent in the midst of His ignominies and sufferings.” Maintaining silence when one is angry is a good idea for both husbands and wives, but especially for wives.

Article is culled from Rev. T. G. Morrow’s book (Overcoming Sinful Anger How to Master Your Emotions and Bring Peace to Your Life)

Inspiring Story of “Iron Lady” Muniba Mazari

Muniba Masari

Sometimes just existing is an act of bravery. Muniba Masari, 20, was involved in a car crash when her husband, who was driving, fell asleep and the car crashed into a ditch. Though he was able to jump out and save himself, she suffered numerous injuries, including a fractured wrist, collar bone, and rib cage; the rib cage injury severely injured her lungs and liver. She couldn’t breathe, and she’d lost control of her urine and bowels. In addition, her backbone was completely crushed. For the rest of her life, she was paralyzed.

After two and a half months in the hospital and multiple surgeries, the doctor told her she would never be able to walk or have a child again.

“Why me?” she asked her mother, devastated. “Why am I still alive?”

“This, too, shall pass,” her mother assured her. I’m not sure what God’s plan is for you.”

Those enchanted words lit Muniba’s heart on fire. She had always wanted to be an artist, and even though the doctors said she couldn’t use her hands, she asked her brothers to bring her canvas. When they did, she did her first painting inside the hospital, which started her recovery.

Her doctors advised her to lie down straight on her bed for two years after she was discharged.

“That’s when I realized how fortunate people were to be able to walk around, go outside, and not even realize it,” she explained. She resolved to help others realize how fortunate they were.

Her first step was to break free from her fears. So she took out a piece of paper and jotted down all of her fears.

Her greatest fear was losing her husband through a divorce. She married the man her father chose when she was 18 years old. It was never a happy union. Her husband had survived the accident unscathed, despised her for her condition, and was having an affair with another woman.

“I was clinging to this person who didn’t want me,” Muniba explained, “and from that day forward, I resolved to liberate him, to set him free.”

“In fact,” Muniba continued, “I was so free that when I found out he was getting married again, I texted him and said congratulations. I am happy for you, and he knows I am praying for him today.”

Muniba had unknowingly followed Jesus’ teaching, which stated, “You have heard that it was said, “Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.'” But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be called children of God. He makes his sun rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the just and the unjust. What is the reward for loving those who love you? Aren’t the tax collectors doing the same thing? And what are you doing more than others if you only greet your people? Do pagans not do the same? Therefore, be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Mt 5:43-48) 

Therefore, be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Mt 5:43-48) Her fear of never having her own child vanished when she realized thousands of children in Pakistan had no one to love them. So she decided to assist them by adopting one, and a cool stream of happiness returned to her bruised heart. Muniba now has a healthy young son whom she adores and who adores her. She also travels around, giving talks and encouraging people to see the bright side of life and appreciate what they have.

Every great athlete will tell you that they are at their best when they are not self-conscious or self-focused, but focused on the outside, on the game. Similarly, people who have suffered a disaster are best able to overcome it when they resist the urge to bitter self-pity and instead focus on helping others.

Muniba’s pain and suffering opened her eyes and made her more understanding of other people’s sufferings, making her a better person.

“There are incidents that happen that deform you, but they mold you into the best version of yourself,” Muniba said, confirming the truth that, behind the dark clouds of pain, lies the silver lining of realizing a better, more beautiful version of ourselves like gold purified by fire or a rough diamond made valuable by knocks and chisel blows.

God’s Understanding

“God has a purpose for you,” her mother had told her, and those magical words had set her heart on a search, looking outside of herself. It piqued her interest in learning what she could do to help others because suffering is something that can happen to anyone, but knowing how to endure it belongs to great souls—souls who have loved deeply.

Most people understandably avoid suffering like a bat avoids fire, but if suffering is inevitable, rejection would be futile and harmful because the hand of the clock, no matter how much we wish, cannot be turned back.

Acceptance is the prudent course of action. Making the most of a bad situation

This is why the Christian message is so powerful and why it is referred to as the good news. God emptied himself, became man, and humbled himself to die on the cross so that people like Muniba could know that God loved them because he chose to suffer similar affliction, not just for her but for all men and women throughout history.

Suffering was unbearable before Jesus’ message, and those who suffered had no hope. Back then, material wealth and power were everything, and a man’s worth was largely based on his possessions.

Christ turned everything on its head. He was born in a manger, the dwelling place of animals, lived poor, and preached that the poor are blessed and that all the things that men cringe and flee from are the true treasures: hunger, thirst for righteousness, and meekness. Furthermore, He not only preached, but His death and resurrection validated His teachings as genuine and divine.

Though Muniba is not a Christian, she has grasped the tenets of Christianity, and just as the Cross ceased to be a symbol of punishment and instead became a symbol of victory in the Passion, Muniba’s wheel cheer and urine bag are a symbol of hope and victory for all. She has received numerous international awards as an artist, motivational speaker, activist, TV host, and Pakistan’s first Goodwill Ambassador to UNWomen Pakistan at the age of 42.

“I always go around with a big smile on my face,” Muniba, an ironwoman whose example is urging everyone to make up their minds to follow the way of self-surrender even when the Cross is on their shoulders, says.

by Chinwuba Iyizoba

Holy Matrimony: Odera & Chinedu Odunukwe: 13 July 2019

Enjoy Pictures of the joining of Chinedu Udunukwe and Odera Iyizoba together in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony at St Charles Borromeo Catholic Church, 1004 Estate on Saturday 13th of July 2019. Wishing the couple a life of Holy Wedlock filled with God. Enjoy!

 

https://videopress.com/v/bwJD8WDM

Odera + Chinedu White Thriller

A Million Pains as Adele’s Marriage Shatters

by Chinwuba Iyizoba

For years now, rumors have been growing that music idol, Adele’s marriage was failing, yet many of her fans were shocked when, last week, one of her spokesperson confirmed it. There is something about her that pulls the heart’s string making everyone root for her to succeed, even in marriage. Yet, any keen observer of trends already knew where the shadow of the growing tree would fall.

The 30 year old music diva had been living (cohabiting) with 45 year old Simon Konecki, a successful entrepreneur, for 6 years before they got married. They already had a son, Angelo, in 2012, before deciding to marry secretly in 2016.  It is common that couples who cohabit before marriage often discover that their marriage is like watching a rerun soccer game, lacking content, expectancy and surprise. In a short time they could begin fidgeting with the TV remote, searching for something more exciting.

The news was shocking because the singer had recently spoken of her longing to expand her family.

‘My womb is starting to ache a little bit,’ she said. ‘It’s like, ‘Baby, baby, baby. Need a baby.’ I’m not pregnant. I won’t get pregnant until the end of the tour,’ she had said not too long ago on a TV interview.

This may suggest that perhaps Simon may be the one pushing it. Her gift to him of a 400,000 euro mansion shortly before the news broke did not seem to have placated him. Having been divorced previously, he has plenty of experience, and doesn’t seem to be affected by it all. He was seen at a party the night that the news broke, having such a good time according to witnesses.

Divorce rarely benefits anyone much less the woman. It far easier for a man to walk out of one marriage and walk right into another than it is for woman to do the same. A woman’s biological sand clock runs out quickly; her beauty and fertility, resources that help her attract men, last but little and every man knows that.

Adele herself was spotted in a gay bar getting drunk with friends even as her marriage is going up in smoke. Yet there is no doubt she loves her son and wants the best for him. Both she and her husband have said that though they are getting divorced, they are committed to best interest of their child even as they rip apart the very thing that is in the best interest of their child.

Mainstream media is still busy minting new phrases to describe the divorce: “They are breaking up as friends,” says one. “Happily divorcing,” says another.

Yet, breaking up isn’t what friends do and people break up because they aren’t happy. If marriage  creates a single heart, divorce rips it to a million pieces, and when a heart is ripped it often dies.

So Why Marry?

Why do people who have lived almost the entire length a relationship cohabiting marry?  What were they missing even when they seem to have it all?

Adele and Simon already had a child, and business was going so well, her three studio album “19’ (2008), “21” (2011), “25” (2015) were each a huge hit worldwide with sales topping over a 100 million records. So why did she get married, and secretly for that matter?

Marriage is the public pledge between a man and a woman to join their common destiny for life, and for the sake of children. Christian marriage is even more profound, the couple decides to give themselves wholly and entirely to each other in marital love for life and in openness to life, a decision that is attractive and noble and many unmarried people desire it.

But the modern creation of “no fault divorce” has radically altered the meaning of marriage, stripping it of all vestiges of permanence, honor and respect; it is now a naked business contract–with exit clauses.

 

It’s high time a name; a new name is found for this new creature which is startlingly different from the old; a name that reflects the new reality; like a larva is distinct from a butterfly and has a different name, even while sharing a common origin, this new modern business contract often referred to as marriage should be distinguished from true marriage by a new name.

By Chinwuba Iyizoba